Hollywood Reporter

[Johann Krauss]

http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php

Le ha escrito amablemente un guión a James Franco y Anne Hathaway para presentar los Oscars.

V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening...
James Franco and Anne Hathaway

(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)

JF
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.

AH
That's foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.

(Applause)

JF
Thank you. I'm James Franco.

AH
...and I'm Anne Hathaway.

JF
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you'll start to identify with him.

AH
And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

JF
It's a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we're not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London...

(Nervous laughter)

He's doing some charity work.
Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer.
He's telling them what bald little losers they are...

JF
Yeah, cos he's rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It's going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That's not to say that we don't care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they'd been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. "What's wrong with that?"

(Laughter)

JF
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.

(Nodding and smiling)

That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.

(Murmurs of agreement)

Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,"Yes and my dentist hasn't seen a penny."

AH
Yeah, why doesn't he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?

JF
It's a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn't have botox or suck up to important producers - there's something wrong with him.

AH
There must be. Why isn't the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?

JF
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.

AH
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that's better than being fat right?

JF
You bet it is gorgeous.

AH
You are so handsome.

JF
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.

AH
Really?

JF
Yes. He'd often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.

AH
And then vomit right?

JF
No he left that bit out...

(Mild laughter)

AH
That's because he couldn't get his fat fucking fingers in his stupid mouth.

(Big laugh)

JF
Anyway let's get this show on the road.
There were some great kids' movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.

AH
Did you enjoy it?

JF
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, "Who are you?" "You're not my daddy." "Take me back to the park where you grabbed me..."

(Laughter)

AH
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you're one of us. And you are so handsome.

JF
Absolutely.
So let's get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss...
The wonderful...
Mel Gibson...

(Standing ovation)

[Yongasoo]

Mierda, tendría que haber seguido más, el jugo que le puede sacar a Gibson es increible.

Por otro lado, me parece que Gervais se la está creyendo mucho y está disfrutando como loco lo de ser el chico malo de Hollywood.

[Johann Krauss]

El spaghetti western de Tarantino.
http://www.lashorasperdidas.com/index.p ... -al-oeste/

[Criadillas]

El fiscal denuncia al director del Festival de Sitges. Ángel Sala está acusado de exhibir pornografía infantil en 'A serbian film'.

Digo yo que tambien podrían denunciar a los cines Yelmo Cineplex por exhibir snuff-movies cada vez que estrenan cualquier película de acción de Bruce Willis en la que maten a alguien de manera explícita.

En serio que es casi mágico que alguien tan tonto haya llegado a fiscal.

[Johann Krauss]

Speculation has run rampant regarding the role, with blogs pegging the part as The Riddler or Deadshot, but insiders tell Variety that Gordon-Levitt will be playing Alberto Falcone, the son of Mafia chieftain Carmine Falcone, the character Tom Wilkinson played in “Batman Begins.”

Alberto Falcone, who is also known as The Holiday Killer, would bring Nolan’s superhero trilogy full-circle. The character fits with the helmer’s stated intentions for continuity and preference to pit the Caped Crusader against “realistic” villains, as opposed to cartoonish nemeses such as Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy, who Batman battled in Joel Schumacher’s 1997 misfire “Batman and Robin.”

http://pupfresh.com/post/3972428203

[rianxeira]

Por fin han empezado a rodar El Hobbit

http://www.20minutos.es/noticia/994886/ ... on/hobbit/

[Yongasoo]

POR FINNNNNNNN!!

Y Martin Freeman me gusta para Bilbo, aunque supongo que eso significa que no va a estar en Sherlock...

[Criadillas]

De hecho la semana pasada en el twitter de Mckellen apareció éste diciendo:

-I have seen Martin Freeam in 3-d like Bilbo yet.

Os podeis imaginar hasta qué altura llegaron los chorros de semen de la marea de frikones que siguen (seguimos) cualquier noticia de la peli.

Luego el cachondo dijo que en realidad lo había conocido en las pruebas de vestuario. Vamos, que lo había conocido por primera vez en la vida real: en 3-d.

(trollface)

[Blanquita]

Hoygan, yo es que cuando veo a Martin Freeman no puedo evitar ver a John Simm, mi querido Sam Tyler de Life On Mars. No sé si llega a Parecido razonable, o más bien a "Le da un aire"-razonable, pero yo lo veo asina.

Spoiler: mostrar

John Simm

Spoiler: mostrar

Martin Freeman

Supongo que cuando al Freeman le pongan punticas en las orejas y melena de ricitos de oro ya será otro cantar.

[Yongasoo]

Spoiler: mostrar

John Simm

Es... ¡Saxon! ¡The Master!

Spoiler: mostrar