Brutal foto-recopilatorio de las temporadas emitidas de Lost, desde un punto de vista bastante cachondo.
Unas pocas perlas seleccionadas:
Primera temporada.
Spoiler: mostrar
Sawyer, Jin, Michael y Walt van en la balsa y se acerca el barco con sus rescatadores:
AND SAWYER WAS LIKE “AWESOME! A RESCUE BOAT!”
AND WALT AND MICHAEL WERE LIKE, “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVARRR!!!”
AND THEN THEY DID THAT THING…
WHEN THEY DO A MUSICAL MONTAGE…
JUST TO REMIND YOU HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EVERYONE…
AND TO REMIND YOU HOW FAR THEY’VE COME SINCE THE BEGINNING…
AND YOU CAN’T HELP BUT THINK…
I
FUCKING
LOVE
LOST.
BUT THEN THE RESCUE BOAT WAS LIKE, “SRY2SAY, BUT YOU ARE PWNED. BIG TIME”
AND SAWYER WAS LIKE “AWESOME! A RESCUE BOAT!”
AND WALT AND MICHAEL WERE LIKE, “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVARRR!!!”
AND THEN THEY DID THAT THING…
WHEN THEY DO A MUSICAL MONTAGE…
JUST TO REMIND YOU HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EVERYONE…
AND TO REMIND YOU HOW FAR THEY’VE COME SINCE THE BEGINNING…
AND YOU CAN’T HELP BUT THINK…
I
FUCKING
LOVE
LOST.
BUT THEN THE RESCUE BOAT WAS LIKE, “SRY2SAY, BUT YOU ARE PWNED. BIG TIME”
Segunda temporada.
Spoiler: mostrar
So then Kate gets kidnapped…
By King Solomon.
And (awkward!) Jack AND Sawyer show up to be the Hero to her Maiden in Distress!
So King Soloman is like okay I’ll just chop her in half and you can each have some, that about solves this little pickle we seem to have gotten ourselves into.
So then Jack’s like, “I GET THE BOTTOM HALF LOLZ”
And Sawyer is like, “IF I DON’T GET THE BOTTOM HALF THEN DON’T EVEN BOTHER CHOPPING HER IN HALF, I’M NOT INTERESTED.”
...
Presentación de Henry - Ben - Gale:
***INTERMISSION***
Okay so from the beginning of Season 2 until now, things we pretty crazy, but Lost seemed to be…missing something.
That something was BENRY FUCKING GALE.
***END INTERMISSION***
So. Danielle’s out in the jungle doing the usual, setting people traps and mumbling to herself, when VOILA! A catch! So she runs and gets Sayid.
Sayid goes to check out the trap, and there’s this little dude in there and he’s like, “Pardon me fine sir, I seem to have gotten myself in a spot of trouble here! Would you be ever so kind as to get me down and away from this rather unsettling jungle wench? I would be ever so grateful.”
So Sayid brings this tiny man to the Batcave, where he tells them his name is Henry Gale, and that he flew here in a hot air balloon from the land of Oz, where he grew up. “Half Munchkin, you see,” he says with a glimmer in his eye.
But Sayid, having grown up on the war-ravaged streets of Iraq, had never heard of The Wizard of Oz, and so he ties Henry up, throws him in a cell, and breaks out his Torturing Scrunchie.
Henry starts to panic, and he’s just like PLZ TO BE NOT HURTING ME, MISTER and in a desperate last attempt to get through to his potential attacker he makes the WORST MISTAKE IMAGINABLE.
Henry asks Sayid his name.
MY NAME IS SAYID JARRAH. AND I AM A TORCHURRA.
...
La traición de Michael:
So then who marches back to the beach but Mr. Mah Boy himself, Michael. And he’s packing heat!!
So what does he do now that he’s bacK? HE FREAKING SHOOTS ANA-LUCIA! DEAD! SHE IS DEAD! AND WE ALL REJOICED! BECAUSE SHE MADE US WANT TO RIP OUR OWN EYEBALLS OUT!!
BUT THEN MICHAEL MAKES AN OOPSIE AND THERE IS CROSSFIYAH! LIBBY GETS CAUGHT IN THE…CROSSFIYAH!
CROSSFIYAHHHHH!!!!!!
AND THEN MICHAEL SHOOTS HIMSELF AND THEN LETS HENRY GO FREE! ;LKSDF’;LASDFK’;LASKDF;’LFK;LASKDL
By King Solomon.
And (awkward!) Jack AND Sawyer show up to be the Hero to her Maiden in Distress!
So King Soloman is like okay I’ll just chop her in half and you can each have some, that about solves this little pickle we seem to have gotten ourselves into.
So then Jack’s like, “I GET THE BOTTOM HALF LOLZ”
And Sawyer is like, “IF I DON’T GET THE BOTTOM HALF THEN DON’T EVEN BOTHER CHOPPING HER IN HALF, I’M NOT INTERESTED.”
...
Presentación de Henry - Ben - Gale:
***INTERMISSION***
Okay so from the beginning of Season 2 until now, things we pretty crazy, but Lost seemed to be…missing something.
That something was BENRY FUCKING GALE.
***END INTERMISSION***
So. Danielle’s out in the jungle doing the usual, setting people traps and mumbling to herself, when VOILA! A catch! So she runs and gets Sayid.
Sayid goes to check out the trap, and there’s this little dude in there and he’s like, “Pardon me fine sir, I seem to have gotten myself in a spot of trouble here! Would you be ever so kind as to get me down and away from this rather unsettling jungle wench? I would be ever so grateful.”
So Sayid brings this tiny man to the Batcave, where he tells them his name is Henry Gale, and that he flew here in a hot air balloon from the land of Oz, where he grew up. “Half Munchkin, you see,” he says with a glimmer in his eye.
But Sayid, having grown up on the war-ravaged streets of Iraq, had never heard of The Wizard of Oz, and so he ties Henry up, throws him in a cell, and breaks out his Torturing Scrunchie.
Henry starts to panic, and he’s just like PLZ TO BE NOT HURTING ME, MISTER and in a desperate last attempt to get through to his potential attacker he makes the WORST MISTAKE IMAGINABLE.
Henry asks Sayid his name.
MY NAME IS SAYID JARRAH. AND I AM A TORCHURRA.
...
La traición de Michael:
So then who marches back to the beach but Mr. Mah Boy himself, Michael. And he’s packing heat!!
So what does he do now that he’s bacK? HE FREAKING SHOOTS ANA-LUCIA! DEAD! SHE IS DEAD! AND WE ALL REJOICED! BECAUSE SHE MADE US WANT TO RIP OUR OWN EYEBALLS OUT!!
BUT THEN MICHAEL MAKES AN OOPSIE AND THERE IS CROSSFIYAH! LIBBY GETS CAUGHT IN THE…CROSSFIYAH!
CROSSFIYAHHHHH!!!!!!
AND THEN MICHAEL SHOOTS HIMSELF AND THEN LETS HENRY GO FREE! ;LKSDF’;LASDFK’;LASKDF;’LFK;LASKDL
Tercera temporada.
Spoiler: mostrar
So then Christian goes to Australia and he’s like *BREATHES*CLAAAIRE, I AM YOUR FATHAH” and we were all like, YEAH HI WE KNEW THAT, except our parents/spouses/coworkers/etc who don’t LOVE Lost like we LOVE Lost and they were like OMG!!!!!!! and we were like PSH AMATEURS.
And alas here marks The Death of Patchy: First Blood.
...
So all this time we’re still wondering how Locke ended up in that wheelchair and then LO AND BEHOLD it turns out he broke his spine during a reenactment of Alan Rickman’s final scene in Die Hard!!!
...
And then we were all like, “HAI PENNY I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU WERE A LOT….PALER.”
So okay then we were like HEY PATCHY WHAT UP!? And then we quickly added, “You’re looking…a lot more ALIVE since the last time we saw you. What’s your secret?”
“I have one of those Jack LaLanne Power Juicers. Very handy. Very handy indeed. Oh and also, I am EEN-VEENS-ABLE!”
...
PATCHY’S DEAD II: ELECTRIC BOOGALO
...
PATCHY RETURNS IN EVIL DEAD 3: ONE-MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS
And alas here marks The Death of Patchy: First Blood.
...
So all this time we’re still wondering how Locke ended up in that wheelchair and then LO AND BEHOLD it turns out he broke his spine during a reenactment of Alan Rickman’s final scene in Die Hard!!!
...
And then we were all like, “HAI PENNY I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU WERE A LOT….PALER.”
So okay then we were like HEY PATCHY WHAT UP!? And then we quickly added, “You’re looking…a lot more ALIVE since the last time we saw you. What’s your secret?”
“I have one of those Jack LaLanne Power Juicers. Very handy. Very handy indeed. Oh and also, I am EEN-VEENS-ABLE!”
...
PATCHY’S DEAD II: ELECTRIC BOOGALO
...
PATCHY RETURNS IN EVIL DEAD 3: ONE-MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS
Cuarta temporada.
Spoiler: mostrar
And then Naomi gets stabbed in the back and she’s all, “JUST A FLESH WOUND!!!” and Kate’s like, “Holy shit, let me at leastget you a Band-Aid or something” and Naomi’s like, “I’M INVINCIBLE!” and Kate’s like “What are you gonna do, BLEED ON ME!?” and Naomi’s like “We’ll call it a draw!” and she keels over and dies.
...
And then Ben gave Charlotte the traditional island welcome!!
Only Charlotte was wearing a bulletproof vest, so she was okay.
And then she got to second base with Locke.
And then the Jurassic Park theme music swelled in the background as we finally saw…THE HELICOPTER!!!!
So Miles is all GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!!!!
But first tell me where I can find…*whips out picture* THIS MAN’S STYLIST!! I mean really!! A WHITE VEST?? Is this 1978!?
...
So Michael explains how he got to the freighter:
The Island: 1, Michael: 0
The Island: 2, Michael: 0
Tom: 50, Michael: 0
So you repeatedly attempted suicide, failed, and then watched that man Tom have relations with a man called Arturo?
“Let’s just say now I know why they called him Mr. Friendly.” *shudders*
“I was supposed to detonate a bomb, and instead of exploding, it had a little flag on it that said “NOT YET.”
Island: 3, Michael: 0
...
And then Ben gave Charlotte the traditional island welcome!!
Only Charlotte was wearing a bulletproof vest, so she was okay.
And then she got to second base with Locke.
And then the Jurassic Park theme music swelled in the background as we finally saw…THE HELICOPTER!!!!
So Miles is all GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!!!!
But first tell me where I can find…*whips out picture* THIS MAN’S STYLIST!! I mean really!! A WHITE VEST?? Is this 1978!?
...
So Michael explains how he got to the freighter:
The Island: 1, Michael: 0
The Island: 2, Michael: 0
Tom: 50, Michael: 0
So you repeatedly attempted suicide, failed, and then watched that man Tom have relations with a man called Arturo?
“Let’s just say now I know why they called him Mr. Friendly.” *shudders*
“I was supposed to detonate a bomb, and instead of exploding, it had a little flag on it that said “NOT YET.”
Island: 3, Michael: 0
Enorme. Muy recomendable para adictos a la serie.
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